Saying Goodbye

My body has begun the achingly slow process of expelling my little one. When I'm not thinking about it, it feels much like the ordinary, annoying cramps I've experienced every month of my adult life; however, when I do think about what's happening inside me, it breaks my heart. I am losing this child and there is nothing I can do. And more than that, I have to experience every agonizing moment of it.

I've read a lot about miscarriage, and I know that I did nothing to cause this, and there was no way I could have prevented it. But I can't help but feel that somehow I did something wrong. I couldn't protect my baby.

I am sad. I've dealt with death before, but this feels different. Part of me wants to try again as soon as I can to get pregnant and another part of me never wants to risk this pain again.